BrisRecky
I'm an idiot savant without the pesky savant bit
yeah , i know i'm ripping off jeff Foxworthy but...what can ya do...")
You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
You own a homemade fur coat.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
Birds are attracted to your beard.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
You've ever hit a dog with your car...deliberately.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.
You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
The council dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You've ever stolen toilet paper.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You took a fishing rod into Sea World.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
you own more than 3 shirts with cut off sleeves.
you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
The primary color of your car is bog
directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road."
your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
you ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes you list of most admired people.
your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
you see no need to stop at a servo 'cause you have an empty coke bottle
you consider the fifth grade you senior year.
you have a rag for a petrol cap.
the dog can't watch you eat without throwing up
your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
you view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
you mow the front yard and find a car.
going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
You own a homemade fur coat.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
Birds are attracted to your beard.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
You've ever hit a dog with your car...deliberately.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.
You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
The council dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You've ever stolen toilet paper.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You took a fishing rod into Sea World.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
you own more than 3 shirts with cut off sleeves.
you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
The primary color of your car is bog
directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road."
your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
you ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes you list of most admired people.
your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
you see no need to stop at a servo 'cause you have an empty coke bottle
you consider the fifth grade you senior year.
you have a rag for a petrol cap.
the dog can't watch you eat without throwing up
your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
you view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
you mow the front yard and find a car.
going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
