Funny questions asked about Australia

[happy]

I found this on a German forum about Australia

The following questions were apparently asked on an Australian tourism website, and the answers are those given by the website officials..  ;D
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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: It depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir performs every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is ILLEGAL.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
A: Only at Christmas time.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

 

[Jimmy]

I told people that we only had 11 months in Australia. But we made up for it with 25 hour days. A fair few people believed it.

 

[marinermick]

I told people that we only had 11 months in Australia. But we made up for it with 25 hour days. A fair few people believed it.

I am sure they gave you the look of belief while thinking that this guy is a fruitloop.

 

[Ranyen]

That's old, but still good

These is a few more:

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

 

[serious14]

Drop Bears _are_ real dagnabbit.

 

[hasbeen]

although not as rampant as Drop Kicks ...

 

[Dr Nick]

Australia is the only nation that you can eat the national emblems. (not so much a question obviously, but a great fact)

 

[marinermick]

Australia is the only nation that you can eat the national emblems. (not so much a question obviously, but a great fact)

wales?

 

[marinermick]

Australia is the only nation that you can eat the national emblems. (not so much a question obviously, but a great fact)

wales?

actually there are 21 nations:

http://us.asiancorrespondent.com/gavin-atkins-shadowlands/a-good-yarn-spoiled.htm

 

[midfielder]

Drop Bears are realy bad in certain parts around Newcastle as they eat people's Brains out..

 

[curious]

"Australia!" "That's next to Germany, isn't it?" Following a question from a waitress in a Tennessee restaurant after hearing my accent and asking where I was from.

 

[Gopher of Pern]

Drop Bears there realy bad in certain parts around Newcastle as they eat people's Brains out..

I thought they had died out in that region, due to lack of sustenance.

 

[tuftman]

Drop Bears there realy bad in certain parts around Newcastle as they eat people's Brains out..

I thought they had died out in that region, due to lack of sustenance.

/thread

 

[FFC Mariner]

If you work around Martin Place it is not unusual for visitors to ask you for directions to Circular Quay.

"easy, onto Pitt St, turn right and just keep walking"

"how will we know when we get there?"

"your feet will be wet, trust me you cant miss it"

"are there any obvious landmarks?" I was asked once.

"No, the Bridge and Opera House block your view"

 

[midfielder]

You should have said big Fairies

 

[dibo]

In Austria they sell t-shirts with kangaroos on them and the words "Austria - no kangaroos here!"

 

[jiggles]

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26355201-421,00.html

Lies! We do have hippos here...kinda...