MrCelery
Well-Known Member
Feel free to add your bit...
16 November 2005 – When 82,000 fans in Sydney Olympic Stadium enjoyed arguably the best football night of their lives. A football fans wet dream. The atmosphere in the ground was so thick it was a challenge to breath. If you don’t know which game, you’re brand new to the sport or a band waggoner. See band waggoner.
Adelaide United – The Nelson Mandela of the A-League. Respected. Nice town. Nice ground. Nice fans. Good team (usually). Just nice really, except for a passionate hatred of Melbourne. Cant' blame them for that.
AFL – Call themselves a football code, which is right for about 50% of the time. Get a hefty media rights cheque, which they need to keep their players out of jail and in drugs. For a laugh, ask their fans to name their national squad. The reason we lost the hosting rights to the World Cup.
ANZ Stadium - Hallowed ground ever since John Aloisi poked home the last penalty against Uruguay.
Away trip – Booze, blokes, birds, football. What more do you want? What goes on tour stays on tour.
Band waggoners – Fair weather supporters who turn up to important games, such as grand finals, but would not be seen anywhere near the ground during a poor season. For some reason Brisbane Roar have 45,000 band waggoners.
Beer shower – That glorious moment when a goal is scored. As the beer sold in grounds is usually crap, it’s not too much of a waste. The downside is having to queue for the rest of the game for some pimply youth to slowly pour you a new beer, or go thirsty.
Bernie Mandic - A bottom feeding greedy agent. But that's the job description. Only slightly more articulate than his prize customer. See Harry Kewell.
Catering – Stadium beer is warm, pies are cold. Would not give the food to my cat.
Central Coast Mariners – Well run club that punches well above their weight. Home of Marvin - please explain.
Craig Foster – SBS football commentator notable for more sermons than the Pope and Osama Bin Laden combined. Les Murray’s heir apparent. See SBS and Les Murray.
F3 Derby – Fierce local derby matches between the Central Coast Mariners and Newcastle Jets fuelled by the fact that many Mariners fans come from Newcastle.
FourFourTwo – Premier Aussie football magazine with a Pommie flavour, courtesy of it’s roots. Blog section is it’s best read.
Frank Lowy – Heavily involved in the 1st National League, and with the A-League, had taken professionalism to a new level. Needs to use his millions to buy a media empire that will give football a fair go.
Gold Coast United – Nice ground, pity that the police block off all streets within a kilometre and make you walk. And close half the stadium to fans to save a dollar. Fans? What fans?
Graham Arnold – Current coach of the Central Coast Mariners. In his first season just missed out on the Championship due to another dodgy referee call in the last seconds of the Grand Final. The ‘Arnold Out’ brigade are now strangely silent.
Guus Hiddink - God.
Harry Kewell – Australia’s most popular and controversial player. Involved in nearly all the pivotal moments in the modern era of Australia’s national team. His popularity, but not his bank balance, somewhat tarnished by his choice of agent. See Bernie Mandic.
Italy - Bunch of cheating, diving, bastards. Italian football ruined my life.
Lawrie McKinna – Much loved and respected 1st coach of the Central Coast Mariners with an almost intelligible accent. The ‘fans manager’, continues to woo the locals with his honest, easy-going charm.
Les Murray – Once a well respected football journalist for SBS. Now prone to pontificating and lax journalism. The heir apparent is Craig Foster who take pontification to a new level. See Craig Foster and SBS.
Local derby – Matches played between two clubs who live close together. Matches where football is secondary to local pride issues. Listening to, or participating in, the abuse hurled back and forth between rival supporters is more entertaining than the game itself. See ‘F3 derby’.
Matildas – Fit birds. Most successful Aussie football team, and the best looking by a country mile. Can actually play a bit now too. Asian champions.
Melbourne Heart – New club for Melbourne fans. Too early to hate, unless you are a Victory or Adelaide fan.
Melbourne Victory – ‘Tards’ or ‘Mexicans’. Great support. Pity most are retarded. Other clubs hatred of them has dropped considerably since Kevin Muscat retired.
Newcastle Jets - Arch enemies of the Central Coast Mariners. Recently rich, but a brilliant example that illustrates how money does not buy class. Bogan territory. Visiting supporters from other teams can expect to find their cars up on blocks when returning to them after the game. 1st Australian A-League side to win the wooden spoon.
NRL – Call themselves a football code, which is right about 5% of the time. Get a hefty media rights cheque, which they need to keep their players out of jail and in drugs.
Old football – Pre A-League national competition most notable for European conflict rematches and crap stadia.
Rebecca Wilson - Possibly the most infamous media commentator along with Peter FitzSimons. Like FitzSimons, makes stupid statements about football in the desperate hope it will sell more papers.
Referees - The men, or women, in black on the pitch, although these days they turn out more in yellow or green outfits. Supposed to ensure fair play and make sure players stick to the rules. But as any supporter knows, they are either blind, deaf, stupid, or corrupt, or most often, all four - even when they're having a good game. Parentage is always in doubt.
Referee's assistant - The' new' name for linesman. With the introduction of female officials this is the new politically correct term. Most true fans prefer to use the terms ‘tosser’, ‘wanker’, or ‘blind c**t’ instead.
Perth Glory - Home of ‘The Shed’ supporters. So full of ‘Pommies’ they can legitimately be called an ‘ethnic’ club.
Police - NAZIS in uniform. Because they have weapons, are generally more restrained than security attendants. Like to tweet apparently.
Replica kits - Usually poor quality imitations of the clubs playing strip that go out of date in one year. Or sooner if the fan is stupid enough to have the name of a player stencilled on the back. Everyone knows that player will be transferred or suffer a career ending injury a few weeks after stencilling the shirt.
Sack wacker – A player who fondles official’s genitals. Made popular in Newcastle by Joel Griffiths.
SBS - Used to be the TV home of football. But is now the home of a bitter and twisted commentary team due to losing the A-League TV rights. See Les Murray and Craig Foster.
Security attendants - NAZIS on steroids in bright jackets on a power trip.
Sydney FC – Club with the biggest potential who are very consistent. That is, consistently appalling in the way they are managed. Home of the long-suffering ‘Cove’ supporters.
Terraces - Standing only areas now converted to overpriced seating. Sadly missed by vocal supporters. True supporters ignore the seats or stand on them to the consternation of stewards, police, and bandwaggoner supporters.
TIFO - Increasingly clever visual displays by the vocal fans designed to mock visiting teams and their supporters. In the case of the Newcastle Jets, pulling a big urine coloured banner over their heads actually improves the scenery.
Wellington Phoenix – Foreign team playing in the A-League. Supporters have funny accents.
Yellow Army - Main vocal support group for the Central Coast Mariners. Wellington Phoenix, find another name, Mariners were here first.
16 November 2005 – When 82,000 fans in Sydney Olympic Stadium enjoyed arguably the best football night of their lives. A football fans wet dream. The atmosphere in the ground was so thick it was a challenge to breath. If you don’t know which game, you’re brand new to the sport or a band waggoner. See band waggoner.
Adelaide United – The Nelson Mandela of the A-League. Respected. Nice town. Nice ground. Nice fans. Good team (usually). Just nice really, except for a passionate hatred of Melbourne. Cant' blame them for that.
AFL – Call themselves a football code, which is right for about 50% of the time. Get a hefty media rights cheque, which they need to keep their players out of jail and in drugs. For a laugh, ask their fans to name their national squad. The reason we lost the hosting rights to the World Cup.
ANZ Stadium - Hallowed ground ever since John Aloisi poked home the last penalty against Uruguay.
Away trip – Booze, blokes, birds, football. What more do you want? What goes on tour stays on tour.
Band waggoners – Fair weather supporters who turn up to important games, such as grand finals, but would not be seen anywhere near the ground during a poor season. For some reason Brisbane Roar have 45,000 band waggoners.
Beer shower – That glorious moment when a goal is scored. As the beer sold in grounds is usually crap, it’s not too much of a waste. The downside is having to queue for the rest of the game for some pimply youth to slowly pour you a new beer, or go thirsty.
Bernie Mandic - A bottom feeding greedy agent. But that's the job description. Only slightly more articulate than his prize customer. See Harry Kewell.
Catering – Stadium beer is warm, pies are cold. Would not give the food to my cat.
Central Coast Mariners – Well run club that punches well above their weight. Home of Marvin - please explain.
Craig Foster – SBS football commentator notable for more sermons than the Pope and Osama Bin Laden combined. Les Murray’s heir apparent. See SBS and Les Murray.
F3 Derby – Fierce local derby matches between the Central Coast Mariners and Newcastle Jets fuelled by the fact that many Mariners fans come from Newcastle.
FourFourTwo – Premier Aussie football magazine with a Pommie flavour, courtesy of it’s roots. Blog section is it’s best read.
Frank Lowy – Heavily involved in the 1st National League, and with the A-League, had taken professionalism to a new level. Needs to use his millions to buy a media empire that will give football a fair go.
Gold Coast United – Nice ground, pity that the police block off all streets within a kilometre and make you walk. And close half the stadium to fans to save a dollar. Fans? What fans?
Graham Arnold – Current coach of the Central Coast Mariners. In his first season just missed out on the Championship due to another dodgy referee call in the last seconds of the Grand Final. The ‘Arnold Out’ brigade are now strangely silent.
Guus Hiddink - God.
Harry Kewell – Australia’s most popular and controversial player. Involved in nearly all the pivotal moments in the modern era of Australia’s national team. His popularity, but not his bank balance, somewhat tarnished by his choice of agent. See Bernie Mandic.
Italy - Bunch of cheating, diving, bastards. Italian football ruined my life.
Lawrie McKinna – Much loved and respected 1st coach of the Central Coast Mariners with an almost intelligible accent. The ‘fans manager’, continues to woo the locals with his honest, easy-going charm.
Les Murray – Once a well respected football journalist for SBS. Now prone to pontificating and lax journalism. The heir apparent is Craig Foster who take pontification to a new level. See Craig Foster and SBS.
Local derby – Matches played between two clubs who live close together. Matches where football is secondary to local pride issues. Listening to, or participating in, the abuse hurled back and forth between rival supporters is more entertaining than the game itself. See ‘F3 derby’.
Matildas – Fit birds. Most successful Aussie football team, and the best looking by a country mile. Can actually play a bit now too. Asian champions.
Melbourne Heart – New club for Melbourne fans. Too early to hate, unless you are a Victory or Adelaide fan.
Melbourne Victory – ‘Tards’ or ‘Mexicans’. Great support. Pity most are retarded. Other clubs hatred of them has dropped considerably since Kevin Muscat retired.
Newcastle Jets - Arch enemies of the Central Coast Mariners. Recently rich, but a brilliant example that illustrates how money does not buy class. Bogan territory. Visiting supporters from other teams can expect to find their cars up on blocks when returning to them after the game. 1st Australian A-League side to win the wooden spoon.
NRL – Call themselves a football code, which is right about 5% of the time. Get a hefty media rights cheque, which they need to keep their players out of jail and in drugs.
Old football – Pre A-League national competition most notable for European conflict rematches and crap stadia.
Rebecca Wilson - Possibly the most infamous media commentator along with Peter FitzSimons. Like FitzSimons, makes stupid statements about football in the desperate hope it will sell more papers.
Referees - The men, or women, in black on the pitch, although these days they turn out more in yellow or green outfits. Supposed to ensure fair play and make sure players stick to the rules. But as any supporter knows, they are either blind, deaf, stupid, or corrupt, or most often, all four - even when they're having a good game. Parentage is always in doubt.
Referee's assistant - The' new' name for linesman. With the introduction of female officials this is the new politically correct term. Most true fans prefer to use the terms ‘tosser’, ‘wanker’, or ‘blind c**t’ instead.
Perth Glory - Home of ‘The Shed’ supporters. So full of ‘Pommies’ they can legitimately be called an ‘ethnic’ club.
Police - NAZIS in uniform. Because they have weapons, are generally more restrained than security attendants. Like to tweet apparently.
Replica kits - Usually poor quality imitations of the clubs playing strip that go out of date in one year. Or sooner if the fan is stupid enough to have the name of a player stencilled on the back. Everyone knows that player will be transferred or suffer a career ending injury a few weeks after stencilling the shirt.
Sack wacker – A player who fondles official’s genitals. Made popular in Newcastle by Joel Griffiths.
SBS - Used to be the TV home of football. But is now the home of a bitter and twisted commentary team due to losing the A-League TV rights. See Les Murray and Craig Foster.
Security attendants - NAZIS on steroids in bright jackets on a power trip.
Sydney FC – Club with the biggest potential who are very consistent. That is, consistently appalling in the way they are managed. Home of the long-suffering ‘Cove’ supporters.
Terraces - Standing only areas now converted to overpriced seating. Sadly missed by vocal supporters. True supporters ignore the seats or stand on them to the consternation of stewards, police, and bandwaggoner supporters.
TIFO - Increasingly clever visual displays by the vocal fans designed to mock visiting teams and their supporters. In the case of the Newcastle Jets, pulling a big urine coloured banner over their heads actually improves the scenery.
Wellington Phoenix – Foreign team playing in the A-League. Supporters have funny accents.
Yellow Army - Main vocal support group for the Central Coast Mariners. Wellington Phoenix, find another name, Mariners were here first.
verhead: 
